Funk

D-20.
As the D-day approaches, I find myself sinking deeper and deeper into a bad, bad funk.
I'm in the 22nd year of my life.
Shouldn't I know what to do?
Shouldn't I know how to get out of a funk?

All I can think about is...

Driving into the rainbow

My week-long break at home was too great to be explained in words.  It couldn't have come at a better time.  After 12 straight weeks of student teaching, I deserved this break.  My break consisted of relaxing on the sofa, watching tv with no worries, cooking and eating homemade food, staring into the distance and being consumed by unorganized thoughts.  It was a true break.  And that made my one last trip back to OWU so much harder.  I tried to tell myself, "it's this one last time; there is no more college after the next month."  But this much needed break didn't easily let my relaxed body back to where it needed to go.

One of few thoughts that crossed my mind as I was waiting for my flight back to Ohio was the fact that I had 3 weeks of student teaching left.  I had 3 more precious weeks left with my kindergartners, 3 important weeks of practice in teaching, and 3 anxious weeks of the final evaluation of my 3 years of devotion to Education.  And of course, 3 bittersweet weeks of creating last-minute memories with friends as a college student.

I was excited to both be back with my students and have just 3 weeks left of college, but that still didn't convince me to turn on the ignition of my car with a smile and a happy thought.  The chance of scattered thunder storm also didn't help the situation.  I dragged my body and mind back to my last 3 weeks in Kindergarten, and I started my daily morning drive on 36 W.  Then, there it was

a rainbow.

I've seen many rainbows but this one seemed a bit different. First and foremost, it completely changed my attitude that morning.  I found myself with a smile and a happy thought.  I thought about getting my phone out to take a picture and document this happy moment.  But for some reason, I didn't want to.  I guess I just wanted to remember that moment in my mind, with no print documentation.  It was one of those moments that I just wanted for myself.

The rainbow was so close to me. 

And after about 3 minutes of driving towards that rainbow, I found myself at the foot of the rainbow. 

Then... I drove into it.

Could I ever express what that was like--driving into the rainbow? 

(I think I'll leave this question as a rhetorical one.)

Conversation in Jazz

I was first introduced to this youtube video in high school in Jazz Band. This video is the definition of "cool" (not cool jazz, but the word cool; although, I do enjoy listening to some cool jazz). Every time I want to bring myself back to the moment I started liking jazz, I watch this video. For those looking for something that will motivate you to listen to more jazz, try this!